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Amy's PROM Story

By Amy, Wilton, CT USA
PROM at 22 weeks + 6 days. Delivery at 23 weeks + 2 days.
Story added: 2010-12-17
I want to tell you first that my story has two endings - a happy ending because I now have a 8 month old baby from a later healthy pregnancy, but a very sad ending because an earlier twin pregnancy ended at 23 weeks 2 days due to PROM. At 39 years old, I was pregnant with twins, a boy and a girl (after IVF) when my water broke at 22 weeks, 6 days. A friend of mine PROMed at 20 weeks a few years earlier and miraculously carried until 30 weeks and had a healthy baby boy, so I was hopeful the same would happen to me, but it didn't. I had chorioamnionitis and the doctors told me that I would have to deliver within 10 days; my babies would be barely 24 weeks at that time. To further complicate matters, my rupture was in the lower baby (Baby A, the boy). The doctors told me that sometimes they can "terminate" the twin with the rupture if it's the upper twin and then the pregnancy may continue. But it rarely works if the rupture is in the lower twin. I was still hopeful we could save one of the twins but then we found out the upper baby (Baby B, a girl) was very small for her gestational age - only 13 ounces.

So very, very sadly I was advised to terminate. It was the most excruciating decision of my life. I come from a conservative Christian family where abortion is considered the worst thing. All I wanted was to give my babies a chance for survival. My doctor said we could try, but it would be like rolling the dice. The little girl would most likely not survive due to her very small size; the little boy would very likely have an infection at birth due to the ruptured membrane and chorioamnionitis. I really didn't know what to do. Then one of the doctors told me that if my babies were born we could do "comfort care" only (withhold lifesaving treatment). I asked them if there were ever babies born at 24 weeks that didn't need lifesaving treatment - they basically said no. My husband and I then decided that we would withhold lifesaving treatment knowing that if we did they would surely die. So, we made the heartbreaking decision to terminate so we could spare our little ones any pain.

The termination was the saddest moment of my life. Each umbilical cord was injected with potassium chloride (kCL) which stops the heart very quickly. I felt like all the life and joy was leaving my body. I then had to decide whether to deliver vaginally or have a Dilation and Extraction. I chose to deliver vaginally so that I could hold my babies. If you have a D&E there is good chance that the fetuses are dismembered and I couldn't bear that. That evening I had a relatively quick labor and delivery (they gave me an epidural and barbiturates). My husband and I were able to hold our 1.5 pound boy and 13 ounce girl. They were the most precious little angels I ever saw - perfect in absolutely every way to my eyes. It was so amazing to see their tiny features, feel their velvety skin and smell them. It was a strangely happy moment in an excruciatingly devastating day and I didn't want to let them go. When I went to sleep that night at the hospital I woke up with an overwhelming feeling of grief - I missed them so much. It was like I had nothing in my soul, all I had hoped for was gone and I was starting over at zero. It seemed like less than zero, because now I had to wait 4 months before I could try to get pregnant again and at 39 that is a long wait.

Over those days and months, I grieved and grieved for my little ones. My breastmilk came in and I was engorged for 10 days before it subsided. I concentrated on rebuilding my body to get pregnant again and I thought endlessly about what had happened. There was no explanation for my chorioamnionitis or PROM - the pathology of the placenta found nothing. I think it was just bad luck and the stress of a twin pregnancy was just too much for my body. I only wish my little babies could have lived because life is wonderful. But, if I had to do it over, I would still do the same thing. I remember thinking that I would suffer any punishment if having the abortion was wrong in God's eyes. Anything to prevent them from suffering even for one minute. As you walk this very sad journey of PROM, know that others walk with you and please read my story about my subsequent pregnancy. My healthy baby boy was born 19 months later.