By Heidi, Sydney, New South Wales Australia
PROM at 19 weeks + 5 days. Delivery at 22 weeks + 7 days.
Story added: 2012-06-27

I had a very difficult pregnancy right from the start. This was my 2nd pregnancy, I had an 18 month old boy at the time I found out I was pregnant and had a full term and normal pregnancy with him (except some bleeding between 6-10 weeks). With this pregnancy I had bleeding again from 6 weeks but every few days I would have very heavy bleeding with cramps and would be rushed to hospital, only to be told that my baby wouldnt have a heart beat, however my baby's heart beat was always strong and he was growing normally. I was rushed to hospital with very heavy bleeding at least once / fortnight throughout my whole pregnancy. The obstetrician I was seeing was never concerned and always gave me the answer "sometimes these things just happen". When I saw him at 10 weeks and then again at 14 weeks he assured me the chances of miscarriage would be extremely low, despite all the bleeding, because I had already made it past the 10-12 week mark. However my GP was the complete opposite. She was very worried and kept telling me that this much bleeding in the 2nd trimester wasn't normal and advised me to stop working and be on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy. My GP is also my aunty so I just assumed she was being over protective and overly concerned (as she sometimes tends to be when she is treating family members). She is however an exceptional doctor and diagnoses things that other doctors miss, I so wish I took her advice but seeing as the obstetrician I was seeing was the professor at the hospital and very respected amongst all other doctors, I just assumed he knew what he was talking about. I was rushed to hospital at 18 weeks and I ended up seeing a different obstetrician. She was so thorough and actually spent the time talking to me and explaining things to me. It was the first time I was told that heavy bleeding in pregnancy can cause early labour however she said only a few weeks early. I had no idea waters could break as early as 19 weeks. At 19 weeks 2 days I had an ultrasound to check the baby's growth and everything was just perfect. My husband and I also found out we were having a boy! The ultrasound didn't even detect that I had any bleeding although I still was. I finally started getting excited and stopped worrying so much. At 19 weeks and 5 days I had huge cramps. It felt like one big contraction that wasn't going away. I was rushed to hospital again and given morphine and the pain settled. I didn't have heavy bleeding with these cramps and the doctors told me that it was probably just the blessing causing by uterus to feel irritated. At the hospital I did an ultrasound and they found that my fluid level was low but no zero. They said the fluid was measuring 8cm and the normal was 25cm and under 5cm was concerning. I wasn't overly concerned as the doctors told me that the fluid can build up and again I thought "it was just one of those things". Ths hospital sent me to do another ultrasound the next morning (19 weeks 7 days) and the fluid was now measuring 2cm. The doctor that did the ultrasound asked me if I had noticed that my water had broken and I told her I didn't know because I was always bleeding and whenever I would sit on the toilet a huge gush of blood would come out but it could have been fluid also. The doctor told me to take 4 weeks off work until I got to the 24 week mark at least and told me that with lots of rest I could possibly hang on until possibly 28 weeks or more. She told me that as the baby gets bigger, the leak could possibly heal. I really had no idea what to expect. I thought the fluid levels would just increase and everything would be ok. I went home and took it easy however that day I had another gush of really heavy bleeding and it actually felt like I was leaking fluid. I rang the hospital and they told me to come in to ED. I had been to hospital so many times and was always just sent home so I really didn't want to go back unless it was really necessary. The next morning (20 weeks) I went to the hospital and they checked my cervix and it was still closed but because of the amount of bleeding and because I was now 20 weeks, they admitted me. I continued to have really bad cramps every couple of days and would have to be given morphine. At 20 weeks 6 days I had another ultrasound while I was in hospital. The usual obstetrician that I had been seeing did the scan and told me that there was no measurable fluid and that I would probably have the baby within the week and he wouldn't survive because he would be too premature. I was so angry at him that he kept telling me not to worry about the bleeding when the bleeding is what caused all of this. I wanted to tell him off bjwahar was so numb from the news I had just been told that I didn't say anything to him. He told me there was no point of even staying in hospital and that I could either choose to terminate now or go home and wait for nature to take its course. I went home that day however had heavy cramps again the following day and was rushed to the nearest hospital at the time which is not the hospital I had been going to. The obstetricians there were so much better and explained everything to me. They gave me the option to be transferred to the hospital that I had been booked into but I chose not to go because I was annoyed at the obstetrician that knew about my bleeding right from the start but never explained things to me or told me the possible outcomes. Everyday in hospital for the next 3 weeks I prayed for a miracle and I prayed that the doctors all had it wrong. The doctors strongly recommended that I terminate because the baby wouldn't survive anyway and my health was deteriorating because of all the blood I was loosing. I had daily blood tests to check my full blood count (FBC) and they would check my blood type every 3 days to have blood available in case I needed a blood transfusion. I had back pain and period like pain everyday and was always on pain killers and antibiotics in case I got an infection. Some days I could barely get up to go to the bathroom and needed my husband to help me up to use the bathroom and shower. My husband and my family hated seeing me this sick. My family begged me to terminate but I just couldn't bring myself to do that. I knew I would regret it for the rest of my life and always wonder "what if?". Every week I had an ultrasound done with the hope that the fluid would have reaccumilated but each time it was always zero. I felt so sad that my baby was all squashed and restricted inside me. You could barely see anything in the scan pictures. At 22 weeks 2 days I went into labour after I had what seemed to look like 4 huge blood clots in the toilet. Another obstetrician had a look and confirmed that it was actually parts of my membranes that had come out. 24 hours later the contractions stopped and I was so happy. That day at 22 weeks 3 days I was so sick all day and couldn't get out of bed. I felt so weak. The doctors came in after they got the results of my blood test from that morning and said that my FBC had dropped so dramatically that I would be getting a blood transfusion within the next 30 minutes. I got the blood transfusion that night and the next day I felt a lot better. My family were going crazy. They were saying things like "are you waiting to die?" and "you have to terminate, your little boy at home needs you". At that point my husband was also very scared for my life and told me that he thought we should terminate. I was so sad at that thought that I told everyone including my husband that I didn't want to talk about it for a few days. I cried for 2 days straight and refused visitors and just blocked the whole world out. I couldn't bare the thought of being separated from my little boy when he had fought so hard to stay with me right from the start. At 22 weeks 7 days on 15/06/12 I went into labour and my beautiful little boy Luke was born. He looked so beautiful, more perfect than I ever imagined. He wasn't expected to live at all but he lived miraculously for 2 hours then died peacefully in my arms. While he was alive, he was baptized in my arms and my son and other family members came to visit my angel Luke. Sorry for writing so much but I wanted to make sure I put in all the details to help other people going through this. During my stay in hospital I found this website and emailed another mum that published her story and she was able to give me lots of support. I was so thankful I found her story. Even though her story had a happy ending, she was still able to understand everything I was going through and we are still in touch today. On 20/06/12 we had little Luke's funeral and we celebrated his life just as he deserves. I also wrote him a letter that I read out at the service and I am happy to share this with anyone who would like a copy. This was truly the hardest thing I have ever experienced and some days I feel like the pain will never go away. I have the most supportive husband and family but it doesn't take away the pain. Everyone keeps telling me I will be blessed with more kids one day but my little boy can't be replaced and I am terrified of being pregnant again. If you would like to talk or ask questions please email me anytime. I know how important it is to have support from someone who has experienced this as its not very common.