By Alexa, Nashville, TN USA
PROM at 17 weeks + 5 days. Delivery at 17 weeks + 5 days.
Story added: 2000-04-23

My pregnancy started out with tons of problems. First, I had a major bleed at 13 weeks. I then continued to spot brown blood after that because I was diagnosed with early placenta previa which the doctor said should correct itself. By the time I went for an ultrasound and the bleeding had stopped, the placenta had moved as it was supposed to, but my water had broken. There was absolutely NO FLUID around the baby. They didn't give me an option of carrying longer due to risk of infection and absolutely no hope for the baby at that gestational age. I had to have labor induced and could feel my baby moving on the way to the hospital.

I delivered an adorable little boy who was perfect. He looked like my husband and I can never forget that little face. We got to hold him a while. Later, after I got home the grief set in and I was seriously depressed for about six months. All I could think was how I wanted to die. I feel better now, but still have the pain but thankfully I am functioning now. I am still sick and furious of people's insensitive comments like I had a "simple" miscarriage (as if any loss is simple) and it was meant to be as if I deserve it with some line like, "The bad always balances out the good." I have to remind them that, "Hello, I held my dead baby in my arms". Wake up, it will change your perspective in life. I am sorry I am rambling but I am sure other people here still go through that and I cannot quit getting angry.

I have been blessed with another pregnancy and started out with mild bleeding. My doctor classified me as high risk due to problems and here I am counting the days again. I am at 16 weeks. It is nerve wrenching. I am temporarily out of work until 20 weeks and people are so insensitive. They just do not get it. I wouldn't wish this on anyone but no one will understand when they get to take the health of their pregnancies for granted and correctly assume that all will go smoothly. I wish and pray that I could have a normal pregnancy and do all my usual activities, etc. and know that I would get to hold my baby in September. But I can't even hope until my pregnancy is viable. I would be terrified to even start planning for my baby now. I am so sorry all of you have gone through this. You are in my thoughts.