By Bridget, Chicago, IL USA
PROM at 22 weeksDelivery at 22 weeks + 4 days.
Story added: 2005-07-08

Two days past a normal monthly checkup with my OB, I noticed water at work - had to change my underwear 3 times. It being my first pg, I was concerned but not paniced, until, the next morning, I called my doctor and was told to go to the hospital immediately. I was shocked to learn I was 3 cm dialated and that my water bag had ruptured and was showing through the cervix.

I then endured a couple days on my back learning about the odds of the baby's survival if I could last, lying down, til 24 weeks, or longer - maybe months. I still had an amniotic fluid 'count' of 12.8, which they said was good, and the baby's heartbeat was strong. I had no fever (they worry quite a bit about infection) and my blood pressure was normal. They immediately started me on antibiotics.

But labor started within a few days (pre-term labor often starts in the lower back), and on Sunday morning, I delivered a beautiful baby girl, who only lived for a few minutes.

The shock and grief are overwhelming. I did not see this coming at all. I have since heard countless stories from others about PROM and about infant death. Seems everyone has a story or knows someone who has experienced it.

I am going day by day in search of answers and, eventually, some kind of peace. I say the mind, heart and body take turns. When the mind is confused and angry, the body shows itself healing and gives me hope. When my heart is too sad to breathe, my mind helps it with a greater awareness of the cycles of life and death all around us everyday.

I think of weather systems when I try to make sense of things: this time, the tornado hit my house. I have lived a lot of years without tragedy. Now I know how much of the world lives.

I wish all of you out there peace and hope for the future.

Bridget