By Heidi, Poughkeepsie, NY USAWe tried to get pregnant by IVF, implanted three embryos, and were successful the first time. Embryo C implanted but never showed viability. Embryo A had a heartbeat for two weeks but spontaneously aborted. I never passed these dead embryos and was told they would reabsorb. Embryo B continued to thrive.
PROM at 16 weeksDelivery at 26 weeks + 6 days.
Story added: 2005-10-20
At 16 weeks, I spontaneously ruptured, but I didn't go to the doctor's because I thought I was wetting myself. A week later I was on bedrest and fluids, hoping that the rupture would heal itself. When it did not heal, we tried a large IV fluid push, which seemed raise my fluid level temporarily. My AFI was 2-3 throughout the rest of the pregnancy. We saw a perinatologist, who recommended termination. That is not for us to decide, but for God. I could only do everything possible for my baby. We went to NYU to see a doctor who might be able to patch the rupture. Since he had not had luck with spontaneous ruptures, we were advised against the procedure. I spent 10 days in the hospital on IV fluids and observation. My body got used to the IV fluids (equilibrium state), and it did not help the AFI numbers. Since I didn't show signs of labor or infection, I was allowed to go home. I got a hospital bed at home to help elevate my hips, and bloodwork weekly to check for infection. At week 24, I received the course of steriods to help my little girl's lungs develop. As my girl continued to grow, I was leaking more and more.
At week 26 and 6 days, I started to bleed. The placenta was pulling away from the uterine wall. My doctor decided it was time to try my baby Anouk's lungs. We had a c-section, and she was wisked away to NICU. They tried a normal and oscillator respirator on her. They needed to push oxygen into her at such pressure that they blew a hole in her lung, and she needed a chest tube to relieve the air in her chest. Her CO2 level in her blood continued to rise, while the O2 level continued to fall. She was not stable enough to transport to a hospital that had both regular and oscillator respirators combined, and her O2 level had fallen to 20%. Her heartrate was falling, and her organs were going to start failing. We decided to take her off the respirator and let her die in our arms. Anouk had survived for 6.5 hours. I had gotten to see her once in NICU while she was on the respirator, from my hospital bed, where I couldn't move or get close to her to kiss her. And I got to hold her when she died. I am so sad I didn't get to hold her while she was moving, when we could look into each other's eyes, and my heart breaks not to know the person she was to become. I know this was God's work, but I still wonder why. Although He comforts me, I don't have peace with it yet. I miss my little girl desparately. The mothering instinct is so great after birth, and my empty arms ached so bad for weeks. The support group at the hospital was wonderful, donating items that I needed for the funeral, and I thank this website for helping to prepare me for the possible loss of Anouk.
The pathology report on the placenta showed no signs of infection. The extra placenta was found from the aborted embryos, but no extra fetal material found. My doctor believes it was the extra, dead embryos that weakened the amniotic sac. It hurts not to know the cause, as that would determine our action plan for next time. Ultimately, I have to know this was God's will, and next time it will be in God's hands as well.
To all those mothers on bedrest, keep up the good work doing what you can for your babies. The rest is in God's hands.