By Tin Lai, Los Angeles, CA USAI'm 36 and my second pregnancy was progressing relatively well with some spotting early in the first trimester. I also had pelvic pressure but my doctor told me that that was normal since it was my second pregnancy. I found out during my 12th week ultrasound that I was having a boy. I was so excited because we already have a little girl (3 years) and a little baby boy will make our family so complete. I know having a boy is pretty important to my husband even though he denies it. I was loving the idea of raising a mini version of him. I looked forward to seeing my husband do father & son things with our little baby boy in the future.
PROM at 20 weeks + 2 days. Delivery at 20 weeks + 4 days.
Story added: 2006-12-21
Well, my bleeding/spotting came back in my 18th weeks of pregnancy and I thought nothing of it. My OBGYN checked my cervix and said everything was fine and not to worry unless I had heavy bleeding. Once again, I was not concern because my doctor said that everything looked good. The following week I was checked by my OBGYN and she told me that I may have a bladder infection and that might have caused some of my discomforts. She also said that the bottom part of my cervix was opened 1 CM but the inside part of the cervix was closed (a cervix is shaped like a cylinder, as long as the inside is closed, labor will not occur). She gave me a prescription for antibiotics and sent me home.
I was into my 20th week of pregnancy when my PPROM started. I was watching late Saturday night when I felt 2 gushes of fluid being released. I looked at the pad it it looked like pinkish liquid. I thought it was urine and it was due to my bladder infection. Once again, I thought nothing of it. Since it was a Sat. night/ Sunday morning, I didn't want to disturb my OBGYN especially since I was seeing her in a few days anyway. I know, I know, looking back at it, I was so stupid, I just assumed that that was symptoms of a bladder infection. I went about with my everyday chores; taking my daughter to school and then to the YMCA. All that time I was losing amniotic fluid. My body was slowing killing my baby. I'm so guilt ridden from what I know now.
When I did see my OBGYN she was concerned to see my fluid loss and to find a walnut-sized blood clot in my uterus that she sent me to my parinatologist that very day. She did say that the baby was at a good size, a strong heartbeat and was moving around. It still didn't occur to me that my pregnancy was at jeopardy. When I saw my my parinatologist later in the day, she confirmed the worst. I had lost almost all my amniotic fluid and there was very little left. She thinks that I might have a tear in my uterus. She called my OBGYN and I was sent home to rest. I had a 5% chance that the tear would seal. I fooled myself in thinking that I will fall into that 5% category and that my baby will be fine.
My husband and I picked up more medicine, went home and I went to bed to rest. Around 9:30 PM that night I started to feel contractions. I try to will them away. Eventually I couldn't handle the pain and my husband drove me to the ER along with our daughter around 10:15 PM. Once at Labor & Delivery the nurse checked my cervix and told me that she can feel my baby's foot. It wasn't until then that I realized that there was no saving my baby. They inserted an IV in my arm and gave me a drug to dull the pain. My OBGYN arrived soon afterward and I went into active labor. I was partly delirious from the drug and when my doctor told me to push I told her 'no', I wanted to keep him inside of me, to try to save him. I delivered my baby boy at 12:06 AM in the morning. I remember hearing the nurse asking my husband if there was a name for him. He named our baby boy Spencer. They asked me if I wanted to hold him and I said no because it would hurt to much to see him so premature and so small. I had a D & C right afterward.
It's been a full week since I lost my baby boy and I don't know how to deal and cope. I wanted so badly to die along with my baby but the only saving grace was the fact that my young daughter still needs me. I cry all the time and I can't help but think that the miscarriage was due to something that I did. My husband and I talked about trying to have another baby again in 3 months but I don't want to go through another PPROM experience. It seems like once a woman experience a PPROM incident during a pregnancy, she will go through another PPROM experience with the next pregnancy. I'm so scared to loose another baby. I really need some answers. I'm seeing my OBGYN next week for my 2 weeks check-up and hopefully she can give me some answers from all the bloodwork that they did after my miscarriage. I'm so scared to try for another pregnancy. I'm doubting my body, my state of mind, my doctor. I miss my little Spencer.