By Michelle, Christchurch New ZealandHi, I’m Michelle and I guess my story is very similar to many of the others I’ve read on the site. We found out we were pregnant in June and were so excited. Then I experienced 5 bleeding episodes during the first trimester - starting from week 6. It was heavy bleeding, enough to soak through clothes and appeared to contain tissue. The first time it happened I was certain I had miscarried. I went to the Dr, had an U/S and the baby was still there. Then the bleeding happened again, and again… And each time the baby was still hanging in there. The worst part for us was that no-one, including my specialist, could tell us why the bleeding was happening or where it was coming from. The highs and lows of that first 12 weeks were incredible - bleeding, thinking I'd miscarried - and then discovering that the baby was still alive.
PROM at 17 weeks + 6 days. Delivery at 19 weeks + 2 days.
Story added: 2007-11-23
At 12 weeks had the nuchal scan and maternal serum test and everything about the baby looked perfect. I was bleed free from 11 weeks and by the end of the 17th week we were starting to feel like we were actually going to have a baby – although we still didn’t buy anything. Then on the Monday morning I got up late to go to work as I hadn’t slept well the night before – and now after reading this website I wonder if maybe I’d been having contractions as I think my back was quite sore… When I stood up to have a shower there was clear fluid everywhere. I rang my midwife and she said “Oh dear” and that was the start of the nightmare.
My husband took me to the Acute Gynae ward at our local hospital. They did some tests and an U/S and advised me that there was less than 1 cm of fluid around the baby and that I should terminate as the prognosis was so bad. They talked a lot about deformities which basically put my DH into a spin. They mentioned that I was likely to go into labour and so I said I would like to wait and go into labour naturally as couldn’t handle the thought of being the one to choose to terminate that little heartbeat. They said in some cases, and it would take a miracle, labour doesn’t start and the fluid builds up again. I thought that just maybe I would be the one to get a miracle and the fluid would replenish. The next week was horrible – I was at home on self imposed bed rest (since they never even told me that I should rest!!! ) but there was fluid leaking constantly so I kind of knew my miracle wasn’t going to happen. I look back and think of all the times I walked to the kitchen etc and the guilt is overpowering – I wish I had known about this website. I wish they had been more proactive…
On the following Tuesday we had a follow-up appt at the hospital and the first thing they did was an U/S which showed my baby’s heart still beating, but even less fluid than the previous week. I went into shock I guess – it’s all a bit of a muddle. The consultant at the hospital was so strong on the negatives that my husband wanted to terminate. I couldn’t handle another week like the last one so agreed. They gave me a pill to start the process and sent me home – due to come back on the Thursday for the rest of the induction process. At about 3am on the Thursday morning I woke up with what felt like bad back pain and since I had no idea what contractions were like I just didn’t realise that I was in labour. So I went to the hospital at 8am – mentioned I’d been having some pain during the night but they must’ve just ignored that part because they didn’t check me, they just commenced the rest of the process.
The next part, looking back, I can almost laugh about. They’d put 4 pills inside me and told me that the process would take 6-18 hours, and that in 20-30 minutes I might start feeling shivery and hot and cold. Well, within 30 minutes I was rolling around on the bed thinking I was seriously dying. I had no idea that I was actually having full blown contractions, probably 30 seconds apart. My DH looked at me and said “Do you need some pain relief?” and I said “YES!!!” I could tell he was thinking “My god, this is going to be a long 18 hours” and even I had started to wonder if the migraines I have are actually just bad headaches for other people! ;) It seriously just felt like back pain, and maybe needing to go to the toilet for number 2’s! And since the nurse wasn’t with us in the room there was no one to actually evaluate what was happening and tell me I was in labour. She came in after DH found her and said “I’ll give you some Pethadine – it’ll kick in within about 10 minutes”. I was thinking “I can’t HANDLE 10 MINUTES!!!” I told her I could feel something between my legs and she looked at me as if I was dreaming, but she looked under the cover and said “Oh.”. I had already crowned. My beautiful baby girl was stillborn about 50 minutes after they’d given me the pills and they told me it was the fastest they’d ever seen. I knew then that I’d actually gone into labour at 3am so now I try to think, to stop some of the guilt, that she was going to come anyway and the pill I took on Tuesday just hastened the process.
We didn’t have a name picked for a wee girl – we’d only just managed to agree on a boy’s name so we stuck with the name we’d given the baby right from that first scan at 6 weeks = Peanut. I feel a bit guilty about not giving her a proper name after having come to the site, but I didn’t just want to pick a name out of a hat. She was Peanut to us – and I think it suits her perfectly – she was cute as a button. I love her with all my heart and I picture her lying under a tree with Clyde, our gorgeous dog who passed away at 17 months. Love you forever Peanut xxx
And loads of love to everyone in this forum.